Although I am taking this semester off from Burlington College, I am beginning the activities of my required practicum experience. I already planned and implemented a workshop for women - a life satisfaction workshop. Now I am participating in a training program through Mercy Connections for a mentoring program for women transitioning from correctional facilities in Vermont.
Both of these activities are appropriate to my field of study and both of them, in very different ways, promote personal and professional/community service growth. The workshop, however, was easier!
There are a few reasons that I am more hesitant about the mentoring experience. Not only is it a long-term commitment (at least one year), it is SO important! I knew that the workshop I did was helpful for the women who participated, but I also knew that they are all basically "okay." This other program is very real - potentially very significant in the life of a woman who has had all manner of trauma in her life. It's scary...
There are also other concerns - my ability to be present for her, not to try to impart my wisdom, or my learning. This brings to mind Pedagogy of the Oppressed, by Paulo Friere, which I absolutely need to re-read. It is hard for me, though, as I get so excited by the things I've learned about life and Being. I know what is best, but can I hold myself back from the passion to share?
I'm embarrassed to write this - especially in a public place - but another concern is that it seems like I'm taking the same path as Tom, my ex-husband. He also went to Burlington College and he, too, works with the prison population. His focus is a little different - but then, is it? It seems like I'm following him rather than myself, and that feels weird to me. Yet...this program at Mercy Connections has called to me since I first learned of it about 5 years ago. How can I relax and let this be, not comparing myself with Tom or even acknowledging that it may seem, well...interesting...to our kids? Should I be looking elsewhere for a practicum experience, or continue to follow this call that has been nagging at me for years?
2 comments:
I'm so excited for you! What an amazing (and brave) step for you to take.
RE your last paragraph: I would ask you, "What is the most important thing?" If you were to weigh the pros and cons, which con(s) would stand out as most important? Which pro(s)? If you were to weigh only those, which would weigh more?
And lastly, "What does your heart tell you?"
Sometimes it's difficult to find what is most important when we have too much "noise" in the way.
Interestingly, my heart has been telling me that I need to do this for a very long time - since 2004! My heart already knows what to do and I have little doubt that I will follow that path, but I am curious about why my head is getting in the way. It's kind of like God is calling me and I'm saying, "Who? Me? You must be making a mistake? Maybe you wanted Tom?"
I'm actually excited, too, though nervous. I have the application drafted and am prepared to hand it in next Wednesday. I'll keep you posted.
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