Wedding bell blues

The month comes to a close, and with the beginning of a new month tomorrow, there comes a new phase in my life. The first new phase started on July 3, when I became a grandmother. Now I will become, once again, a mother-in-law.

I feel out of sync with Jake & Jenny as they prepare to close on their new house on Tuesday and then get married on Saturday. I haven't figured out how to help them, or how to be with them during this time. I think those concerns come from Ego. I have this feeling that I'm somehow supposed to be present with them in some wise or helpful way. The message that I am receiving, however, is that they are quite competent, thank you very much, and I need to let the ego go and simply Be in this situation. None of it is about me, and I recognize that my concerns are because I've made it about me rather than about them. This is an important lesson for me, and I clearly need to spend some time thinking about it, and letting go in a very healthy way.

Choices

I am struggling to live out the philosophies that I embrace in my studies. It is a good thing for me to be challenged and to be reminded that what sounds quite logical and important (and is), isn't always as easy at it is simple.

I am exhausted. I want to relax and have fun. I have much to be happy about (see previous post) and to look forward to. Despite those realities, I feel crabby and tired, and I want to whine! Yet, I recognize that I am making choices - each choice to whine takes me further from my own joy. Each choice to worry, to find the negative, to frown...is a choice to give away the joie d'vivre that is hard-wired in me. I don't have to make those choices. I recognize that sometimes we are just tired - sometimes I am just tired - and in those times I am weak. However, gaining strength and rejuvenating doesn't come from giving in to exhaustion, it comes from recognizing the Breath of Life, the hope that transcends daily worries. It is in this choice, in the choice to smile, to embrace, and to live Now rather than next week, that I can find the peace that I need right now.

Writing helps...

Transitions

This has been a summer of transitions. I knew it would be a busy one and that's why I decided to take the semester off from college studies. Although I have continued to be involved in my practicum activities, I think it was the best idea ever to refrain from committing to academic study.
The summer started with a new grand-child. Dylan was born on July 3 and is a gem. Who knew what fun it would be to have a grand-baby!! (Actually, every grandmother knows it and I've been told a million times! :-) He's so cute and changes rapidly so I'm sad that I don't get to see him very often. But, that's the way life is and I can choose to regret that or choose to treasure the times that we are together!

I went on a sisters' retreat in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Lynne and I flew there and Eileen hosted. It was a wonderful 5 days, exploring the cities, devouring the creation of Eileen & Shelly's house and yard, and mostly just spending the time with my sisters. Great stuff!

Now we are about to see Jake & Jenny married and housed, and to bid bon voyage to Luke & Katie. It is going to be an emotion-filled beginning of September as the life events for my 'children' impact my sense of self. It is with joy that I see each of them on their own adventures - knowing that they are in the right places at the right times. Life unfolds in the most amazing ways, and I never cease to be in awe of the movements, the dance of lives that weave in and out, held by the bond of family.

Life is good. I'm a happy person!